Learning to curb expectations to manage frustrations...

I'm not good at this. But, I recognize I need to work on it.

Pastry has begun, only 3 classes down so far. I'm so happy I'm in school, you all know that. It was a big step yada, yada. I need to be really honest here right now though. I need to vent. I'm frustrated. There are two elements of the fundamental class structure that bother me: the class at present is very general and it relies heavily on teamwork.

My first clouded expectation of Pastry School was that everyone in class would be just like me. I don't mean short and adorable, I mean someone who has been cooking since an early age, someone who already knows how to bake a cake, a cheesecake, cookies, etc. I had this fantasy that on the first day of class we would launch into extravagant pastries, plating design and showpieces. That's my fault, but, was it too much to ask that my fellow classmates when met with the definition of "compound butter" not then ask, "what would you mix with butter?" I did a doggie head tilt on that one, not gonna lie. You couldn't sit and watch a cooking channel or open the pages of a beautiful, glossy cooking magazine or a good menu for that matter and not be met with terms that so many of my fellow students were struggling with.

My question to my fellow students would then be, "Why are you here?" and furthermore, "Why are you harshing my mellow?" On our first day, our Chef Instructor went around the room asking why everyone had chosen this career path, the kid next to me simply said, "I've always had a sweet tooth." I think I audibly groaned on that one. Now we could sit and argue that everyone has their reasons for doing this and one person's reason is not better than another's, but this is my reality you're reading and I say that for something like this, better that a class be comprised of people with similar goals on a more equal skill level.

The second thing that bothers me about the class structure is the teamwork. We are broken into teams of two for six lessons and then we rotate pairings for the next six lessons and so on. Normally this isn't a problem for me, I get along with pretty much anyone and like a variety of people. I also understand the reasoning, you're going to ultimately be working closely with people in a professional kitchen and you need to know how to work with all different types of people. The problem is 6 of the 14 people in my class speak very limited English. I spent the better part of the first day of class helping the Japanese girl next to me follow along in the Student Handbook. The second day of class I made sure I sat on the opposite end of the classroom. But, I was able to watch her soak Carrs Water Crackers in Sweetened Condensed Milk and eat them during our dairy tasting. It was gross and all I could think was, "this chicks palate is gonna be a problem." Luckily not my problem, because according to the team breakdown, her and I are not paired up. At least for a while. I guess the real struggle for me is that I want to be responsible for myself. If my Caramel burns it's my problem, it's my Caramel and it is not affected by the nervous nelly breathing down my neck asking me panicked questions that I can't understand while I have to stop and ask him to repeat himself 3 times.

Ugh, do I sound horrible? I probably do. I don't care. This school was a lot of money. I paid in full, in cash. I just want the education that was promised me. I don't want to hear on the first day of class that while we will do sugar work we're not going to spend time on sugar pulling or blowing, two fundamental techniques used in sugar showpieces. As someone who is interested in getting involved in professional pastry competitions that was a let down and now I have to seek out advanced classes that will cost even more money.

I need to curb my expectations. I did my due diligence. I know this is one of the top culinary schools in the country. I know their alumni have done amazing things and ultimately my future as a Pastry Chef is in my hands. I've also talked to some of my fellow students in my Culinary Management class that have begun their Pastry or Culinary classes before me and they shared the same early frustrations but they have all assured me that it does get better and I just need to give it about a month. Once everyone is brought up to speed on general techniques, we'll start learning things I don't know. That made me feel better. At the end of the day, all I want from school is to be taught things that I don't know.

Ok, I feel a little better...